Bunny control issues? What to do (and not do)

After all of the crazy bunny scenarios I’ve been through, you would think I could call myself an expert on lagomorphs. But alas, bunnies keep trumping my human instincts.

When Bebe (Andre’s girlfriend) started showing signs of dominance I thought, “Good, he needs to be put in his place.” I let her circle him and attempt to hump him and other various signs bunnies show to say, “Hey, I want to be the Alpha now, surrender to MEEEE!!!”….for three days.

Little did I know what grave danger Bebe was getting herself into.

On that fated night, I was watching Top Model, my husband was studying, the bunnies scurrying under his feet at the kitchen table. Then Bebe yelped and jumped straight into the air! I stood up, “What just happened??”

I ran over and to my utter chagrin found fur and drips of red on the cream colored shag carpet. Realizing Bebe was the injured party I hurriedly scooped her up and ran to the bathroom. Upon examining the wound, tears swelled and overflowed into sobs as I saw what horror bestowed my sweet companion.  Her little feminine bunny parts had been mutilated. A rabbit Moolaade had just occurred in my very presence and I could do nothing to stop it.

We rushed her to the nearest emergency vet which was 30 minutes away! I told them what I thought had happened. That my other bunny had bitten off Bebe’s vagina after getting completely annoyed with her. They laughed and said, “No, I’m sure that’s not what happened.”

We left Bebe there. I got a call 2 hours later. “So, you were right. Her vagina now looks like hamburger meat. I don’t think there’s anything we can do, start thinking euthanasia.”

Luckily before I got this call I had called my friend Ruth Fledermaus and asked her if she’d ever heard of this happening. She told me that usually it’s males who bite the other male rabbits genitalia off, but that female rabbits have an unusually long urethra so there is a good chance she will be able to heal. This calmed me down a lot.

So, when I got the call from the vet I ended up telling her, “Oh, I think she’ll be fine. When can we come get her?”

“Tomorrow morning.”

Bebe shocked the vets and made a full recovery. I separated her and Andre for 2 weeks, then slowly let them play together while supervised. That was 2 months ago. She hasn’t shown any signs of aggression since then, and Andre hasn’t bitten her again. They seem to have missed each other profusely and cuddle all day long.

Now, I know that if I ever see her circling or showing signs of aggression again to separate them immediately, and get a spray bottle so she’ll learn not to do that.

Oh, bunnies. What next?

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